Beth - Days 3 through 6

Note to future 30 Freaking Days Bloggers: save things that will put you "out of commission for a week" until the END of your 30 days.

I feel like I'm a week behind in my scary adventures after my procedure on Monday! I've been all taped up at home, on these amazing pills that make me feel HIGH AS A KITE. For someone who rarely even takes an Advil, these last few days have been like an out of body experience. My friend, Ladd, said I should've tried writing some songs while I was trippin'. I can only imagine the brilliant concepts that were unwittingly wasted. :)

Carl has been so wonderful (as always), cooking wholesome meals to speed up my recovery. Lots of salads, homemade black bean burgers, roasted butternut squash, smoothies, and other tasty niblets. He also handwashed my hair when I was too incoherent to be trusted in the shower. That is love.

FAIR WARNING! I'm going to share some pictures with you now that might scare you. Hell, they scare ME.  That's the point, I suppose.

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Night one.  The creature emerges.  I refresh Carl on our wedding vows.

The morning after.  Wondering if instead of a "rhinoplasty", they thought I requested to be "hit by a bus".  Honest mistake.

Day 3.  Hair of royal awesomeness.  Feeling a little optimistic about the potential of my survival.

Day 4.  My locks of unlove are cleansed of all iniquity.  I tell Carl to pretend I'm auditioning for the Phantom of the Opera.

Day 5.  I stop taking the magical rainbow pills.  Life carries on, slightly less amusingly.  To spice it up, I trade in my boring ice pack for a bag of frozen blueberries.

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You are officially up to date.  Might as well throw in a load of laundry while you're at it.  You're on fire.  May you all know the joy of frozen fruit on your swollen mug this weekend.

Beth - Day 2

I told you yesterday was going to be a doozy, so here it is;  I had a rhinoplasty done.  It's something I've wanted to do for 15+ years now.

I was about 12 years old, riding with my dad in the car, when I told him how unattractive I felt.  Then I burst into tears as I went on to explain how much I despise my nose.

I remember going over to friend's house about a year later and she had this little toy with tiny metal rods that took whatever shape you leaned it against.  She put it on her face and you could see every feature (eyes, mouth, etc).  I tried it on mine and all you could see was a nose.

Around the age of 14, I met with a booking agent and he told me that I had to have new promo pictures done because of how big my nose looked in my current photos.  So embarrassing! I cried the whole way home.

I took a yoga class and went out to dinner with the whole group one time.  One of the guys said he spoke Spanish, so I asked him to say something.  What he said translated into "Your nose is very...Jewish".   Followed by everyone's nervous laughter.  I was mortified.

I've never gotten comfortable with my nose, even after all these years of living with it.  I feel like it's a separate part of my body that doesn't belong.  As though I'm wearing a pair of those Groucho Marx glasses.  It's on my mind ALL the time - having photos taken, talking to people, performing, etc.

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So, I brought the idea of plastic surgery up to Carl.  He didn't think it was a good idea, but I explained to him just how much it would mean to me until he understood.  I finally had the nerve to tell my Mama, a few days ago, after avoiding her phone calls for a week.  Her reaction was beautiful and sweet - a huge relief to me.

I realize that a lot of people are completely against plastic surgery for various reasons.  Those people have obviously never had a big nose.  There, I said it.  :)

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I went in for consultations with two separate surgeons this month, to compare cost & technique.  I chose Doctor Frenchman because he had the best online reviews BY FAR.  Plus he & his office staff are very calm and comforting.  His wife has actually been his anesthesiologist for about 30 years.

Yesterday (1/24), Carl drove me to have the procedure done.  I was super nervous and almost didn't get out of the car.  But I did.  I got out and I walked inside, signed some paperwork, then they took my "before" photos and gave me a gown to change into.  When they started my IV, they gave me some sorta happy happy joy joy meds, so I wasn't nervous anymore.  I was hoping to be visited by a unicorn, but no such luck.

The next thing I remember is being home in bed.  I don't remember going into the operating room,  getting dressed, walking to the car, or anything else.  I slept for about 19 hours yesterday, only waking up to eat a little something with my pain pill.

I'll post another update either tonight or tomorrow.  For now, it's all ice packs, peroxide & pain pills for me!  xo.

Beth - Day 1

Carl & I bought a vintage 1945 house a couple of months ago and we still don't have window treatments.  While I don't plan on keeping it this way (mostly for our neighbor's sake), it has been nice waking up with sun rays on my face and chubby robins chirping in the bushes through our glass portal to the outside world.

This morning, we woke up all easy like Sunday morning, and laid there chatting about some things that are coming up.  Things that I haven't told many people about.  Things that scare the bejeezus out of me.

My darling husband is excellent at doing things that are beyond his comfort zone.  I am not.  I prefer to overanalyze every little detail and possible outcome until I've talked myself out of doing it at all.  All the while knowing that the times I've felt the most alive are when I throw caution to the wind and leap without looking.

So...I came up with the idea for this blog.  I was originally going to call it "30 days of things that scare me", but that's a pretty effing long title, you guys.  You'd never remember the url.

I will spend these next 30 days doing things that make my heart race.  Reporting back here after each experience.  Hopefully with 100% positive and magical results!!!  Maybe not.  But the scariest thing of all to me is the regret of not doing something when you had the chance.  Perhaps the Secret of Life is simply "doing things".

Some of the items on my agenda will be more intimidating than others.  Day 1 is sharing this with you.  Tomorrow will be a doozy.  Multiple doozies to come before the end of February.  I'm scared.  :)